Being Comfortable Talking About Money is Empowering

It is easier for people to talk about sex, religion, and politics than it is to talk about money.  

But we need to normalize our conversations around money. 

Because when women have a handle on their money they are empowered. 

Money can provide security, allow for options, deliver satisfaction, grow one’s wealth, pull a person out of debt, and it can give a person access to people in positions of power. 

Money can feel triggering to many of us. If you grew up without money, had money used to manipulate you, or watched your parents struggle with money, you may have issues you need to address. You may feel shame for having been poor. You may feel shame that money was used against you. You may feel shame because your family had money and lost it.  

Depending on what your issues are and how deep they go, you may need to seek the help of a professional therapist to confront the root issues. 

Many of us do not know how to talk about money and finances. As with any topic, we must understand the language and we must get comfortable using the terms. And as with any topic, it can be uncomfortable as we dive in. We will make mistakes. But dive in we must. Many of us feel odd because we have all been around money since childhood, it’s not a new concept. But if we haven’t built a healthy relationship with money we can feel stuck. 

Here are five ways things you can do to become more comfortable with financial conversations. 

1. Find your flock and talk openly. Any ambitious woman should be cultivating a flock of equally ambitious peers with whom she can openly talk with about a variety of topics, including money. And this means saying, “I charged a client $5000 for this specific service. Am I overcharging or undercharging, or am I billing fairly?” Seek feedback from others in your space or in parallel spaces. 

2. When you have provided a service, demand to be paid. Don’t start waffling when it is time to collect. Send invoices promptly and consistently until it has been paid. 

3. Have salary conversations with co-workers. If you work in a corporate setting, talk openly with peers in your company or in similar fields to determine if what you are being paid is the market rate. The company is the only one that wins by keeping those amounts undisclosed. 

4. Talk openly with your children about finances. Teach them to budget from a young age. If you want to break the cycle of this discomfort, get them conformable early and teach them skills that they can take into adulthood. Give kids access to some money, appropriate for your family’s budget. Give them a chance to spend and allow them room to make some mistakes. It is better for them to misspend an amount, while under your roof, and learn some lessons than it is for them to lose much larger amounts as an adult when they may impact their financial future without the safety net you are providing while they are young. 

5. Open a dialogue with your spouse or life partner(s) regarding family money. If one of you is being shady with family finances, that is a huge red flag. Find a healthy way to breach the topic and make sure you each have access to all accounts, accurate amounts, and all other family resources. In addition, you should both agree to how money is spent, saved, and borrowed. 

Anyone can begin getting more comfortable talking about money by opening dialogues with peers, clients, children, and spouses/partners. The early conversations might be difficult, triggering, and awkward. But if you stick with it, you will find yourself having easier conversations with a language that becomes effortless and concise. You will realize that you have worked through your triggers and you feel empowered in the conversation.