Learning from Jealousy: The Green-Eyed Monster is an Excellent Teacher

Photo by Ashkan Forouzani

Whenever we experience strong emotions, there’s usually a lesson waiting to be learned. Jealously can teach us a lot if we’ll let it.

When you hear someone’s great news and experience that gut-wrenching feeling of wishing it were you instead, get to the bottom of that feeling right away. It has a message you must listen to because it can help you understand what you truly want.

Identify the trigger.  Is it a physical object or business deal that made you jealous? Or is it the freedom that success represents? Or the confidence that comes with being an expert? Maybe it’s a combination of things. Are you worried that someone’s success means less for you or are you actually wishing that accomplishment was yours? Get past your emotions to find out what it is that triggers you.

Explore possibilities. Once you’re clear on that desire, take the steps you need to get there, and be willing to start small. If you envy someone keynoting at a conference, your core desire might be sharing your knowledge and passion. You can begin doing that by speaking at smaller, local groups… and get plenty of practice along the way to your big gig.

Make a plan. For some, writing out a possible plan to success may be enough to realize that this new plan toward a keynote address is actually a distraction from the elements of your career or business that make you sing. For others, this plan brings clarity toward a real goal.

Trust your own path. Remind yourself that you can arrive at the same destination as someone else by taking a different road to get there. When you feel jealous, believe in the value of your own experiences and challenges. Trust that doing good work, that you truly love will lead you to success.